The idea that batterers and child abusers are awarded sole custody even when there has been a domestic violence conviction or reliable evidence of sexual abuse may seem so bizarre as to be unbelievable to most Americans. Even those who have experienced this admit that they never would have believed it possible until it happened to them. They thought that if their child made an outcry, help would be there for them. They thought that judges would look at a history of domestic violence, weigh the medical evidence, listen to the words of their children, and choose to protect the child. Instead, as the American Psychological Association states in its report on Violence in the Family (1996), "Family courts frequently minimize the harmful impact of children's witnessing violence between their parents and sometimes are reluctant to believe mothers…Some professionals assume that accusations of physical or sexual abuse of children that arise during divorce or custody disputes are likely to be false, but the empirical research to date shows no such increase in false reporting at that time. In many instances, children are frightened about being alone with a father they have seen use violence towards their mother or a father who has abused them. Sometimes children make it clear to the court that they wish to remain with the mother because they are afraid of the father, but their wishes are ignored."
Fathers, too, sometimes find themselves caught in the gears of the court when they report abuse their children have disclosed at the hands of stepfathers or their mother's boyfriend. These mothers are at times more interested in protecting their partner than safeguarding their children. Such cases underscore the importance of having the best interest of the child at heart, and that the protection of the child should be the goal of our child protection system. It goes without saying that each case must be judged on its own merits.
As far as we know, no one has addressed the long term affects of this betrayal upon children who told about being abused but were silenced or ignored by the judicial system and given into the hands of those who had abused and violated them. Susan Smith is an anecdotal example: a mother who, as a young teenager reported abuse by her stepfather, received no help, and proceeded to murder her own children. Told that the court would protect them from the abuser, how can abused children then believe that they deserve help and protection? And as Randy Burton, Esq., of Justice for Children has remarked, "The public's perception of widespread abuses in the family courts has created a crisis in confidence in the judicial system in general."
Please join us in drawing attention to the re-victimization of children through a court system which allows batterers and child abusers to have unrestricted access to children. Let your state and national representatives know about this grave problem and educate your local and national press.