Domestic Violence

Who Are The Abusers?

ABUSERS TYPICALLY:

· Can have very short fuses and become immediately angry, while others, equally as typical, are very cold and calculating.

· Deny that the abuse has occurred or make light of a violent episode.

· Blame the victim, other people or outside events for the violent attack.

ABUSERS DON’T ACT BECAUSE THEY ARE “OUT OF CONTROL.”

· Abusers choose to respond to a situation violently. They are making a conscious decision to behave in a violent manner.

· They know what they’re doing and what they want from their victims.

· They are not acting out of anger.

· They are not reacting to stress.

· They are not helplessly under the control of drugs and alcohol.

ABUSE IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOR.

· It is not a “natural” reaction to an outside event.

· It is not “normal” to behave in a violent manner within a personal relationship.

· It is learned from seeing abuse used as a successful tactic of control - often in the home in which the abuser grew up.

· It is reinforced when abusers are not arrested or prosecuted or otherwise held responsible for their acts.

ABUSERS MAY:

· Express remorse and beg for forgiveness with seemingly loving gestures.

· Be hard workers and good providers.

· Be witty, charming, attractive and intelligent.